I am in this mindset that I can just start over this diet tomorrow but honestly tomorrow never comes. I had a huge slap in the face today. I went clothes shopping with my mom. The size that I had been wearing no longer fit. I’m back to the same size I was before losing the 115lbs. I could have sat in that dressing room and cried. I cant believe I let myself get like this again. Tomorrow I for sure need to start getting healthy again. I feel like I look disgusting in the mirror. I hate what o see staring back at me. I dont want to feel like this anymore. Tomorrow I am starting over I guess. Next week will be tough but I will do my best. I am having 3 wisdom teeth removed and 4 cavities filled so i will be eating liquids for a few days until I feel better. I am going to try my hardest to get where I need to be. As of right now I have no choice. It’s either get back on track or get right back to where I started! I definitely do not want that.
Emotional eating is a big thing for me. I have to find ways to try and cope with everything going on. I’m still struggling with postpartum depression and now anxiety. I have been having at least 2 anxiety attacks a day for the past few weeks. The medication I am on for depression is causing me to have heart palpitations and causing my anxiety to be worse. Without the medication I’m on right now I cry every time my daughter cries and when I cant get her to stop I get extremely irritated. Theres no way o can keep using food to cope with these emotions. That’s how I get to be over 400lbs in the first place. Tomorrow I continue on with trying to become a healthier person emotionally and physically.