End of the week. 

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I get so happy when it’s towards the end of this week. It’s been a rough week but it went by quick. I can’t wait for tomorrow. It’s Friday and date night! I love that me and my husband make a point to do date nights a couple times a week. Also we make a point not to cheat during those date night I know if we go out to eat that we will cheat so we have to get creative instead of just going out to eat then coming home. I think the dates where we do random things are more fun anyways! 

I am down another 2lbs back to my lowest that I was a couple weeks ago. I want to lose a few more pounds before Sunday. I praying it can happen. Me and my husband have been really good lately. We are both kind of sick of cheating to be honest. We feel like crap afterwards and our weight goes up. Feeling good for that 15 minutes of eating is definitely not worth everything afterwards. It’s hard to remember that when you’ve had a bad day and what comfort food but we are doing pretty good. 

I skipped breakfast.

For lunch I had pork rinds with cheese and pepperoni.4g carbs. 

For dinner I had chicken salad. 10g carbs. 

Total carbs for the day 14g. Under my 20g carb goal. 

I drank my 100oz of water today.

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Rough and rainy day. 

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The middle of the week already. Thank goodness. For some reason this has been a long week. The days just seem to drag on a lot more than they usually do. I don’t if it’s because the school year is almost over or something else either way it feels like forever. Today was just a rough day at school. The kids were hyper because of the weather which made teaching hard. I just feel like I didn’t get anything done at all.

Well my weight is down two pounds. I don’t know what happened to make it go up but hopefully that doesn’t happen again. Nothing is more discouraging than to be doing everything right and still not lose any weight. I have been working so hard the past couple of weeks and I still haven’t made any progress. As of right now I’m still okay on my big goal. I have to lose one pound every other day in order to make my 32lbs goal. I hope I can do it. Because I really want to get out of this runt I’m in and have been in for months. Something has got to change and give in right? 

I skipped breakfast.

For lunch I had a couple p3 protein packs. 3g carbs. 

For dinner I had ground beef with Alfredo sauce. 5g carbs. 

For a snack I had a salad. 5g carbs. 

Total carbs for the day 13g carbs. Over my 10g carb goal by 3 but not bad. 

I drank 100oz of water today. 

I want to cheat! 

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I woke up today and I felt better. My husband is literally the only person that can make me feel better anymore. He’s been so supportive through everything. Sometimes it still feels like we are dating. He sends me a text every morning telling me he loves me and tells me to have a good day. I honestly think if I had to go through this all by myself I wouldn’t make it. He has calmed me down and held me when I have cried. He truly is my very best friend. 

Speaking of my husband. My weight has gone up for the past two days. I haven’t cheated and I have been drinking enough water. Needless to say I’m frustrated. I wanted to lose at least a couple pounds before the end of the week. Also my big goal of 32lbs before June first. Right now I’m at 33lbs to lose. I have literally made no progress again. I wanted to cheat today. When I start gaining for no reason I just want to cheat because I figure my weight is going up anyways might as well cheat. Today he stopped me. On my way home from work I texted him asking what he wanted from Taco Bell. He texted back saying nothing and that I shouldn’t want anything either. So I felt bad and came home to cook dinner. I’m mad at him about it today but I will probably thank him tomorrow for it. 

I skipped breakfast.

For lunch I had pork rinds with salsa and sour cream. 11g carbs. 

For dinner we had low carb chicken fried steak and sugar free BBQ sauce. 4g carbs. 

Total carbs for the day 15g. Over my 10g limit but still under 20g. 

I drank my 100oz of water today. 

Stress takes its toll. 

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Stress takes its toll on your body. I had a rough day yesterday and today. My weight is up almost 3lbs.  Even though I haven’t cheated. I feel like lately I just can’t catch a break with anything. Work is tough and home life is tough. I don’t feel like I have a calm moment in my day ever.  I just wish I could forget everything that’s going on and just be happy again. I’m still feeling pretty upset like I was yesterday. I hope my weight doesn’t go up again tomorrow.

School has been tough lately. I feel like I have no idea what I’m doing. I ask for advice and people say your going to feel like you have no clue what youre doing for a while but you’ll figure it out. I just want to make sure my kids are ready for kindergarten. I feel like some people think I’m half assing it because I’m moving to 3rd next year but thats not the case at all. Right now I’m a pre-k teacher and these students need me to learn. All this just adds more stress to everything else that is already going on. 

I skipped breakfast.

For lunch I  had a p3 protein pack. 1g carb.

For dinner we had steak with sugar free BBQ sauce. 2g carbs. 

For a snack I had a couple hot links with ranch. 5g carbs. 

Total carbs for the day 8g carbs. Under my 10g carb goal for the day. 

I drank my 100oz of water for the day. 

103lbs down!

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Starting today I will be posting how much weight I lost over the week like I did before. I think this will help me keep track of my progress. I did okay this week. I got back down to where I was before I cheated last time. I’m hoping to be at least 4 more pounds down by next Sunday. I just have to stay strong and keep moving! 

Sundays are always the worst day of the week for me. I always hang out with my family in Sundays which is always nice but they always go by too fast. Today was a rough day. I just keep thinking that I would have been 18 weeks pregnant tomorrow. Almost half way done. I’m in a lot of pain today and I just want to eat whatever I can get my hands on. I didn’t but I still wanted to. 

I skipped breakfast.

For lunch i had chicken and cheese with a little bit of ranch. 7g carbs. 

For dinner I had pork rinds with cheese and salsa. 6g carbs. 

For a snack I had two hot links. 2g carbs. 

Total carbs for the day 15g. Over my carb goal of 10g but still under 20g so I’m good. 

I have no idea how much water I drank today. I didn’t really care about tracking it. 

Long day! 

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Well Im very happy to see that I’m down 4lbs overnight. I’m now 102lbs down again. I plan on losing another 5lbs before the end of the week. I almost cheated yesterday because it was one of my students birthdays so they brought cupcakes. There was one left over and I wanted it. Then I thought about how I have literally made no progress over the past month and didn’t eat it. I’m proud of myself. I’m breaking these habits I built up when I was pregnant. I just need to stay on track and see how much I can lose over the next week. Hopefully I can lose the 5lbs! 

Today me and my husband went to  a concealed carry class today. It was 6 hours long. Very insightful though. I’m glad we took it together. I’ve realized its too expensive to go shooting every weekend so I guess we are going to go every other weekend but my husband wants to look at another stress relief that might not be as expensive. He wants to look into boxing. I think that sounds fun and theres a boxing gym right up the street from us. I think we are going to look into it this week hopefully. I think that would really help us in the long run with getting our anger out about the miscarriage. He’s still struggling and doesn’t really have a good release for it. So I hope we figure something out soon. 

We are celebrating my moms birthday tomorrow. We are all going to eat out as a family and I always get so nervous when we eat out because I dont know exactly how many carbs are in the food I’m eating. I am going to do my best because I really want to stay on track. I feel like I’m finally getting where I need to be again. 

I skipped breakfast.

For lunch I had some prosciuttowrapped mozzarella and pork rinds. 4g carbs. 

For dinner we had hot links. 5g carbs. 

For a snack I had cheddar cheese crisps.2g carbs. 

Total carbs for the day 11g. Only 1 over my 10g a day limit! 

I drank my 100ozs of water today! 

If I could go back…

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I have been thinking a lot lately if I could go back and tell my younger self about everything going on now what would I say. I think the first thing I would say is you’re so much stronger than you think. You struggle through so much later on and you always get through it no matter what. The sun will always come up again tomorrow and your world is not ending today.  Next I would say let those stupid boys break your heart so when the man of your dreams shows up you’ll realize this is how your supposed to be treated. Have patience because he is worth heart break and the wait. You will have a best friend by your side for life.  The last two things are the most important. I would tell her that weight-loss is not impossible. Dont give up because it will cause you a lot of pain later. You will miss out on things that you really want to do because you’re self conscious about your weight. Don’t miss out on life anymore.  Lastly,  I don’t think I would tell her about the miscarriage but I would say when things get to the point where all you want to do is scream and cry,  just do it. You are so strong already but most days you are stronger than you need to be. Grieving for something you’ve lost is okay and people understand that. Also, I would say rely on your husband. You are in this together and he cares for you so much.he is by your side for everything. He even lost weight with you and has been your main support through everything. I think that’s what I would tell my younger self. I am a much stronger and happier person than. I was back then. 

I am up another pound. I’m pretty sure I’m just bloated. I hope after this week is over it goes back down. I just want to cheat so bad. Every time I’m doing good and still gaining it makes me feel like I should just cheat because it’s going to go up anyways. I know I can’t. This is just a bump in the road and I have to get through it. I’m going to tough it out and hopefully I will go down some and get where I need to be. 

I skipped breakfast 

For lunch I had a couple p3 protein packs. 2g carbs. 

For dinner I had a chicken salad. 11g carbs. 

For a snack I had some cheese cubes and a turkey hotdog. 1g carb. 

Total carbs for the day 14g. Over my 10g carb goal by 4 but still not bad. 

I drank my 100oz of water today.