Today has been a rough day. Life as a Pre-k teacher is hard and stressful. I want all my students to do well but days like these makes me feel like I’m a bad teacher. I know things will get better. I really wanted to eat snack with the kids but I didn’t because they were having sugary carb loaded stuff. I’m really proud of myself. I stuck to plan today.
The urge to stress eat comfort food is there. My heart hurts because of my situation and I don’t know how to deal with it. A year ago I would have turned to food but I can’t do that now so I have no idea what I’m doing. I don’t want to get all depressed on my blog but it’s been a rough day and the pain isn’t getting easier. I watch my 600lbs life a lot and they ways talk about getting depressed because their coping mechanism is gone. I finally understand how that feels. The past year nothing has really happened where I had this strong of an urge to cheat and eat comfort food. I feel absolutely lost.
I skipped breakfast.
For lunch I had a salad. 6g carbs.
For dinner lettuce wrapped burgers. 4g carbs.
For a snack a bag of turkey bites. 4g carbs.
Total carbs for the day 14g carbs. Under my goal for the day.
I have got to work on drinking more water. I’m up and moving all day so I really don’t think about drinking water. I’ll try harder tomorrow.
Well time is ticking down. I have 32 days until my 1 year is up. I’m kind of confused. At the doctors office I was 10lbs lighter than I was on my home scale. Idk which one I should go with. I really need to buckle down and get back on track. I have a goal to reach and I am very close to getting there. From the doctors scale I only have 3lbs to go, from my home scale I have 13lbs. It’s possible I just have to get to it. I cheated yesterday and today so I know it will go up some more but I get back on track tomorrow.
I told you all my bad new a few days ago and I didn’t even mention my good news. Last week was my first week as a teacher. I got hired for pre-k but next year I will be moving up to 3rd grade. It’s been rough with everything going on but it’s good for me because I’m up and moving around a lot more. I am going to start tracking my fitbit again and exercising more. This morning I walked 2.5 miles around a track and I have only walked 6,000 steps today. I have got to do more tomorrow.
I’m not going to say what I ate today because it was loaded with carbs. Tomorrow I get back on track to lose more weight. I’m excited to get started again and I’m very lucky that I havent gained much back at all. I just have to keep focused and not let my emotions get in the way like they have been. Gaining weight isn’t going to help my situation so I just need to keep a clear head, keep eating healthy, and keep moving.
I have been struggling emotionally lately but I went and walked 2.5 miles this morning and took these pictures afterwards. I feel good. It’s been 11 months so far and I can’t believe my eyes!
It’s been awhile since I posted a blog. I had a lot of stuff going on. I had to stop doing low carb. I will be getting back on the diet today and I will blog about it starting tomorrow. So for today this is not a weight-loss post so check back tomorrow if that’s what you are here for. I’m going through a really difficult time in my life right now. I haven’t gained any weight back which is good I guess considering I have cheated and ate a ton of carbs and calories the past week. I want to get something off my chest because I feel like it will help the healing process for me. I’m only posting this here because I know I have gotten so much support for all of my followers in the past. This is very sensitive for me so please be kind.
New year’s eve I found out that I was pregnant and two days later a blood test confirmed we were. I stopped the diet and added in more fruits and veggies for the baby. My first baby appointment was this last Monday. The doctor did a sonogram in her office. By that point I should have been 8 weeks pregnant. She did the ultrasound and the gestational sac showed up but there was nothing inside of it. She had me do some blood tests and come back yesterday for an ultrasound. The blood test came back where it was supposed to be for 8 weeks pregnant. The ultrasound still showed an empty gestational sac. Meaning I have something called a blighted ovum where when I got pregnant there was a chromosomal imbalance so my body produced a gestational sac but no embryo to grow. I have to have a D and C to have the tissue that is there removed. I am just lost and confused about why this happened to me. This whole blog and weight loss journey was so I would be able to get pregnant and when I finally did there is no baby. I am going to continue this weight-loss journey. I’m not giving up. I’m grieving right now so making the right choices is very difficult but I have to do it. If I want children in the future I can’t let my body get back to where it was.
I’m sorry if this was not the kind of blog you were expecting but I needed to say it. Tomorrow I’ll start back with the usual blog I do.
I have been so lucky to have a strong support system in the past year. My husband has been the one person that has suck through this weight-loss journey with me. He has also lost a lot of weight too which has really helped our relationship. We both feel good about ourselves which I guess had the same effect on our relationship. My mother and sister have also been a support system for me. I don’t see them everyday but everytime I do see them they always tell me how proud they are of me which makes me proud of myself. I know I couldn’t have done this by myself. I have tried so many times with so many different diets. Without him I would not have gotten this far.
I have not done anything all day. I have no energy to get up and get moving. I took a nap and watched TV all day. I didn’t do a single productive thing all day. I have got to change that for tomorrow. I’m going to start doing fitbit challenges again this week. So maybe that will get me motivated to get up and do something. I hope this no energy thing is temporary!
For breakfast I had a few pickles. 3g carbs.
For lunch I had a couple turkey hotdogs with cheese and salsa. 9g carbs.
For dinner we had steak. 0g carbs.
Total carbs for the day 12g. Under my goal for the day!
I still did not get enough water at all today.
I feel like I haven’t blogged in so long that I don’t know where to start anymore. Well first as you know I graduated college with my Elementary education degree in December. As of right I am subbing every week day at different schools until I get a teaching job somewhere. It has been tough on my diet because there’s always snacks or unhealthy stuff around me all day. Also I am exhausted when I get home and don’t want to cook. So for the past couple weeks we have been eating out a lot. I have got to figure this out or I am going to be right back where I was before and I definitely do not want to go back to being miserable all the time.
I have never told my blog my weight before. The thought of putting it out there has literally terrified me but I have come such a long way since I started! My starting weight on my very first day of this diet was 432lbs. I always hate to admit I let myself get that big but I did the important thing is I’m no where close to that anymore. My lowest weight a couple weeks ago was 343lbs. It’s still not where I want to be but honestly not bad for only 10 months. My current weight makes me sad because I know I can do a lot better. This morning I weighed 350.it might go up more tomorrow. Low carb diets are weird when it comes to when an how much you gain. Some times you gain the next day and sometimes you gain the day after that. I am still really proud that I am 82lbs down in 10 months but I have got to get on track. I have to get back into the mindset I was before. I know I can continue making progress if I don’t give in. I’ve always said since day one the most important part of a diet is not giving in. If you can do that part you can make amazing progress!
As for eating today. I think I did good.
For breakfast I had a few pepperonis. 0g carbs.
For lunch I had tuna salad with pickles. 2g carbs.
For dinner we had spicy sausage and broccoli in Alfredo sauce with little bit of cheese. I also had a yellow pepper. 18g carbs.
Total carbs for the day 20g. Right at my goal for the day!
I’ve been struggling with water lately. So far I think I’ve only drank 20oz all day. I have to work on that more. Tomorrows a new day.
Recently I have had a lot going on so my diet has been the last thing on my mind. Needless to say I have been cheating a lot. I haven’t gained a lot of weight back but I am up 7 or 8lbs for where I was. Today was it. My sister took me to the movies where we saw the new Star Wars movie which is really good! I ate pop corn with lots of butter and cookie dough bite candy. When I got home I at a bell pepper with cheese, salsa, and southwest dip inside. This wasn’t too bad on carbs but I also ate a bunch of strawberries today which has a lot of carbs. For dinner we had Chicken express. I had fried chicken tenders, fries, corn nuggets, a roll, and an apple pie. I am not proud on bit of how I have been eating. There is no excuse!
I can’t wait to share all the exciting things that have been going on in my life but I can’t quite yet. Just know that tomorrow is a new day and a new beginning. I think I get away from my diet because I stopped blogging which shows me this is a big part of my accountability. I will keep blogging to keep me accountable. Tomorrow’s a a better day!