I have wanted to make this blog for a few weeks now. So here it is.
Through out my life I have been made fun of about my weight. It took me to the lowest point in my life where I didn’t want to get out of bed, go to school, or go out in public. I felt ashamed of the person I was because of my weight. My friends and family know I can be the sweetest, nicest, and most out-going person. There is one moment where I completely broke down and cried on a restaurant. These are two stories but there are a dozen other stories that have made me feel the exact same way. I’ll tell you the stories and then get to the main point.
Me and my mom were at a restaurant when I was in the 9th grade. They were busy so we found a table which the waitress said she would go get a bin and clean it off for us. We were waiting by the table and I was standing up because there was food on the bench of the booth. I heard the lady in the booth behind ours say “It’s extremely rude for people to stand there while other people are eating”. I said I was sorry and that waitress was going to clean it in a second. Then she said the most immature and hurtful thing. “Just go home you fat cow”. This was a grown woman with her children with her. I turned around and said “excuse me”. She replied with “excuse moo”. I was so insecure about my weight back then. I started crying and ran out of the restaurant balling. At this point in time I was being made fun of daily at school. People would Moo at my in the hallway and call me fat ass on the way to class. On the first day of my freshman year I wanted to drop out. I got in my step dads truck crying and saying I wanted to be homeschooled. It honestly it got so bad I thought about suicide.
The next story was my senior year in high school. I was at an FFA contest for floriculture. We were a long way from home in a small town called Warner, Oklahoma. I wanted to go to the college there for two years and move to OSU. My teacher was going to set up an interview so I could get a scholarship, so I had to dress semi-nice. I was kind of comfortable with myself by then because I switched schools and had a lot more friends. I was having an awesome day until I walked past a group of guys sitting in the hallway. I was walking and talking to one of my friends. I hear the guys laughing and pointing at me. When we walked by one guy said loudly “that one must be damn near 300lbs”. That ruined my entire day. I felt like everyone was judging me all day. I even decided not to go to college there because I knew there would be people like that there. That one little sentence changed me entire day!
My point is NO ONE should be put down so much about their weight where they have thoughts about taking their life. I still to this day get made fun by grown people. It’s not as bad as it used to be but it’s still there. I hated my first two years of highschool because of body shaming. Why does me being fat have to bring humor to your life. I have my own life experiences, feelings, and an awesome personality but people make fun of how much I weigh. My body being bigger than yours does not effect your life in any way. So why take the time out to make me feel absolutely terrible about myself?
I am now loosing weight but not for the people that made fun of me. I’m finally at a place in my life where I’m not trying to please other people by losing weight. I’m doing this because it’s for me and my family. I need to be at a healthier place in my life so I can enjoy it to the fullest.