Day 60- Last day of April!

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Well today is the last day in April! Overall I have lost 33lbs. Just this month I have lost 17lbs! It was a tough month and I didn’t think I would get close to my goal but I did and I couldn’t be happier!

I couldn’t sleep at all last night. I was looking at my timehop which showed a point where I was completely miserable about myself. So I stayed up all night thinking about it. I made a blog about some of it it called “Body shaming”.

Today my mother in law took more graduation pictures today. It was fun and I really liked the pictures. It finally felt real today. Graduation is next Friday and I’m so nervous and excited. Even though I don’t actually graduate until January but I’m so happy to be able to be a part of the ceremony with all of my friends.

I skipped breakfast today.
For lunch I had a turkey, bacon, egg salad with blue cheese. 5g carbs.
For a snack I had buffalo dip with pickles chips. 2.6g carbs.
For dinner we had steak, broccoli, and mashed cauliflower. 6.8g carbs.
Total carbs for the day 14.4g.
Total calories for the day 1146.
Under both of my goals today!

I didn’t drink too much water today. I’m only up to 60oz. I’m going to try and drink another 32oz bottle.

Body shaming!

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I have wanted to make this blog for a few weeks now. So here it is.

Through out my life I have been made fun of about my weight. It took me to the lowest point in my life where I didn’t want to get out of bed, go to school, or go out in public. I felt ashamed of the person I was because of my weight. My friends and family know I can be the sweetest, nicest, and most out-going person. There is one moment where I completely broke down and cried on a restaurant. These are two stories but there are a dozen other stories that have made me feel the exact same way. I’ll tell you the stories and then get to the main point.

Me and my mom were at a restaurant when I was in the 9th grade. They were busy so we found a table which the waitress said she would go get a bin and clean it off for us. We were waiting by the table and I was standing up because there was food on the bench of the booth. I heard the lady in the booth behind ours say “It’s extremely rude for people to stand there while other people are eating”. I said I was sorry and that waitress was going to clean it in a second. Then she said the most immature and hurtful thing. “Just go home you fat cow”. This was a grown woman with her children with her.  I turned around and said “excuse me”. She replied with “excuse moo”. I was so insecure about my weight back then.  I started crying and ran out of the restaurant balling. At this point in time I was being made fun of daily at school. People would Moo at my in the hallway and call me fat ass on the way to class. On the first day of my freshman year I wanted to drop out. I got in my step dads truck crying and saying I wanted to be homeschooled. It honestly it got so bad I thought about suicide.

The next story was my senior year in high school. I was at an FFA contest for floriculture. We were a long way from home in a small town called Warner, Oklahoma. I wanted to go to the college there for two years and move to OSU. My teacher was going to set up an interview so I could get a scholarship, so I had to dress semi-nice. I was kind of comfortable with myself by then because I switched schools and had a lot more friends. I was having an awesome day until I walked past a group of guys sitting in the hallway. I was walking and talking to one of my friends. I hear the guys laughing and pointing at me. When we walked by one guy said loudly “that one must be damn near 300lbs”. That ruined my entire day. I felt like everyone was judging me all day. I even decided not to go to college there because I knew there would be people like that there. That one little sentence changed me entire day!

My point is NO ONE should be put down so much about their weight where they have thoughts about taking their life. I still to this day get made fun by grown people. It’s not as bad as it used to be but it’s still there. I hated my first two years of highschool because of body shaming. Why does me being fat have to bring humor to your life. I have my own life experiences, feelings, and an awesome personality but people make fun of how much I weigh. My body being bigger than yours does not effect your life in any way. So why take the time out to make me feel absolutely terrible about myself?

I am now loosing weight but not for the people that made fun of me. I’m finally at a place in my life where I’m not trying to please other people by losing weight. I’m doing this because it’s for me and my family. I need to be at a healthier place in my life so I can enjoy it to the fullest.

Day 59- 67lbs to go!

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Today was weigh-in day! I stepped on the scale and I was extremely excited about the number. As of this morning I am 33lbs down in two months! My goal was to reach 32lbs lost by May 6th and I did it. I may even be a couple pounds lighter before graduation next week! Only 67lbs left to go for the year!  My next big goal is to be down 50lbs by July 1st! We are going on vacation sometime in May and I will try my hardest not to cheat so I can stay on track. I honestly cannot believe that it has only been 2 months and I am only 17lbs away from half way to my year goal!

It’s spring time in Oklahoma which means tornado season. I always freak out. We had a tornado warning today and I got so scared. We just got hail, thank goodness. It was still scary.

I skipped breakfast today.
For lunch I had a turkey, bacon, hard boiled egg salad with blue cheese dressing. 5g carbs.
For dinner we had fajitas. Mine was chicken with lettuce and guacamole on top. 13.9g carbs.
Total carbs for the day is 18.9g carbs.
Total calories for the day 936.
Under my carbs goal for the day and way under my calorie goal!

I’m struggling to get to my water goal. I have only drank 64oz so far. I’m going to at least get to 96oz before bed.

Day 58- Gardening!

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I woke up pretty early this morning. My stomach was killing me as soon as I woke up.  I hung out with my sister for a little bit. Then I headed home and instead of going to the gym I decided to work on my garden. It was a lot more work then I thought it was going to be. I still got some flowers planted in one flower bed. I will probably work on the other one which I am putting veggies in tomorrow!

I did weigh myself this morning. I finally lost the weight from my cheat day plus some! Finally! Now I feel like I can reach my goal before next Friday if I just stick to my goals each day.

I skipped breakfast today.
For lunch I had a salad with turkey, ham,  and Parmesan cheese with ranch. 8g carbs.
For dinner we had Taco bowls. Mine had turkey, lettuce, and guacamole. 1.9g carbs.
Total carbs for the day 9.9g.
Total calories for the day 1288.

I have only drank 64oz of water today. I know I will get to 96oz at least today.

Tomorrow is weigh-in day!  I can’t wait to see what the scale says!

Day 57- Buckling down!

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I really have to buckle down and stay under both of my goals for the next week and a half! So far I haven’t lost any weight this week because of my cheat meal. I only have to lose 6 more pounds before I reach my goal. 6 little pounds! I am going to start you back to the gym as much as I can! I’m going to reach this goal by May 6th!

Today was a pretty good day.  I went to class then hung out with my sister for a little bit. After that I can home and cleaned the house. I don’t know what I am going to do with myself after next week until my summer classes that start June 21st.

I skipped breakfast today.
For lunch I had scrambled eggs with a little salsa. 5.5g carbs.
For dinner I had ground turkey and sliced bell peppers. Simple but delicious! 8.8g carbs.
Total carbs for the day 14.3g.
Total calories for the day 1407.
Under my carbs goal and just 100 over my calorie goal!

Me and my sister have been looking up a bunch of recipes today!  This weekend we are making low carb brownies and mock potato salad! I will post all the recipes and pictures after we make them.

Day 56- Love/Hate relationship

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It’s weird waking up and having nothing to do. I didn’t have to go observe. I didn’t have to be anywhere. All I had to do today was studying for finals next week and that was it. I figured I could get caught up on cleaning the house too. I got it all done and afterwards I watch Ghost Adventures.

Ever since I had that cheat meal a few days ago I have been craving all the bad food.  BBQ chicken pizza, mashed potatoes, and mac and cheese. Ugh!  I have to stay strong. The cravings will go away in a few days until then I’ll just be miserable! I have a love/hate relationship with cheat meals. I love them because I get what I want. I hate then because I gain weight and my cravings come back. Not only that but my body isn’t used to that many carbs anymore. I get physically sick, my stomach hurts and I just feel off. It’s a constant struggle but the foods I love got me to the weight I am today.

For breakfast I had a ham omelette with guacamole and hit sauce on top. 4g carbs.
For lunch I had a turkey and bacon salad with blue cheese dressing. 5g carbs.
For dinner we had chicken cordon bleu. Mine had chicken, 1/2 cup Alfredo, and ham with crushed pork rinds on top. 4g carbs.
Total carbs for the day 13g.
Total calories for the day 2020.
Under my carbs goal for the day and over 2000. Hopefully this does not make me gain tomorrow!

I drank 120oz of water today.

Day 55- Determined to stay on track!

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It is the start of the last full week of classes this semester! I’m so happy that it is almost over. After this week it’s finals week which I will only have 2 finals then that Friday is graduation. It’s all happening so fast!  I can’t believe it!

I have been looking up vacation ideas. In a few years we are moving to southern Texas. We are taking a trip down there to decide what towns we would like to live in. I’m so excited yet terrified. I’ve lived in the same town my whole life. Never more than 2 miles from my family.

Well I weighed myself this morning and I gained a pound back from cheating yesterday. Nothing to do now but get back on track. I have to reach my goal before graduation. I know I can do it I just have to be strict about what I eat during the day. I’m determined to do this.

I skipped breakfast this morning.
For lunch I had a turkey and bacon salad with blue cheese crumbles and  blue cheese dressing. 5g carbs.
For dinner we had sloppy Joes. I made mine with ground turkey. 12g carbs.
Total carbs for the day 17g.
Total calories for the day 1812.
A little under my carb goal and under 2000 calories.

I didn’t drink as much water as I should have yesterday so I had to make sure I got to 120oz today. I have drank 72oz so far. Just two more bottles and I will be at 120oz!

I’m kind if upset with myself. I am so close to my goal and I couldnt just say no to cheating yesterday. I’m going to be so disappointed if I don’t reach my goal before May 6th. I know I can do this. I have to do this.